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Arctic Force Snowball Blaster: About as Useful as Tits on a Nun
7th January 2012 - Posted in Rants By Sam
winter gifts - gifts for him
So yeh, Summer has officially ended. What does that mean? Well, lots of SAD people across the UK are now sat in front of their 10,000 lux light boxes contemplating suicide, whatever.
It also means it gets cold, and we might even have some snow. MIGHT being the operative word.
Hmmmm... Arctic Force Snowball Blaster. I initially thought this was quite a cool idea, I imagined paintball style battles between hordes of middle class kids. But then I thought a little more and decided, nah, this is just crap.
The Snowball Blaster was first released in the UK on 3rd November 2011. It features a snowball press (because crunching up a handful of snow is too difficult for modern kids?) and works a bit like a catapult. Kids pull back the elastic launching mechanism and release to fire.
In 2010 we had about 2-3 weeks of snow in the whole year. Who in their right mind is going to pay £25 for a couple of days of Snowball Blaster action? That's the biggest problem with this toy, it was brought over from the US where they get a lot more snow than we do.
Also, what the hell is wrong with using your arm? I have fond childhood memories of freezing my fingers off at school. Sometimes being so excited, I didn't even notice my hands turning blue. This is a British tradition.
I bet a kid can make and throw a snowball faster and further with their arm than they can with this snow firing piece of junk. Early reports suggest that a 9 year old kid can't even pull the elastic cord hard enough to fire 8 feet, never mind 80.
I then thought a little more about the practicalities of the Snow Blaster (there was nothing on TV and my girlfriend was at work).
OK, so you're putting on a nice warm hat, slipping on some woolly gloves, and about to head out to the park for some fun in the snow. Let me ask you this: what's the best way to: A. Get beaten up, B. Look like a complete geek, and C. Make yourself the number one target for everyone in the field. Answer - take an Arctic Force Snow Blaster with you.
Furthermore, while you are pratting about making snowballs with the built-in snowball maker thingy, they'll be enemies dumping snow-boulders on your head.
Conclusion: if it isn't broken don't fix it, springs to mind. Use your arm, save yourself £25 and don't look like a playground nerd (for a couple of days a year when there is actually snow).
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